Why students actually suck

Why it sucks living with students.

It’s fair to say that students are often stereotyped and have an overall bad reputation – whether people think you’re arrogant, messy, lazy, a binge drinker, or permanently in your bank overdraft, you can assure that everyone will brand you as something along those lines when you tell them you’re a university student. I’m usually against stereotyping and making assumptions about people, but in this case (speaking from experience), students really can be self absorbed morons.

I’ve been at university for 3 years now, and I’ve been to two universities – Warwick and Sheffield. Of course, my views won’t be shared by everyone, and any student reading this will probably scoff and disregard how accurate it may be, continuing to live in the egocentric way they know best. ‘Why are you insulting students when you are one yourself?’ you may well be thinking. Fair point. Well I’m not your average student, and I’m certainly not afraid to admit to my own faults so I’ll take some hits from this article gladly. Equally, I have many student friends who I adore and who do not come under this category at all. Maybe I’ve been unlucky with the students I’ve met, who knows. But here’s my perspective.

1. Sleep is their favourite hobby….

I’ve been called a “middle aged woman” for my regular bedtime of around midnight and waking up at 8am. Maybe it is rather routined but hey, I’m almost always more energised than those that choose late nights and lie ins instead. It isn’t unusual for a student to wake up in the afternoon – 2 pm being a popular time. The amount of lectures they miss is ridiculous. So they go to bed at 4am…sleep for nearly 12 hours, have “breakfast” at 3pm, then nap again at 5. Sounds so productive doesn’t it?

2. They don’t seem to know what a “use by” date is…..

Waste is rife in student houses. It’s quite disgraceful really. I’d say 30% of food on average is thrown, or should I say left to rot in the fridge until I or some other poor soul throws it out. The worst have been whole chickens, a 2kg pack of steak and obviously the weekly milk carton used once and then left to curdle.

A lovely bit of mould is a frequent observation for students

3. They’d rather live with rats than take the bins out….

Students make it appear like taking a bin bag out to the dustbin is a challenge of similar difficulty to running a marathon. It’s a simple 2 minute job to normal people but to students it’s close to the impossible. So if you’re used to stepping over bin bags on your way to make porridge in the morning it’s pretty likely you’re a student.img_1735

An ant infestation inside one of the food cupboards at my previous student accommodation

4. They binge drink – and not in a good way….

Now don’t get me wrong I love a good alcoholic beverage; as someone who likes to stay fit and healthy, gin soda and lime is my go to drink – low in calories and still gets you drunk! This is a far cry from what you can expect to find in most student houses. 2 litre plastic bottles of cheap cider or wine that tastes more like bleach (reflecting its price) are popular choices among the university-goers. To be fair, with the amount they drink they’d have to buy cheap alcohol so it makes sense. After all, students like to get so drunk to the point they can’t remember who they are on a regular basis. I’m talking a few times a week here – it’s serious business. I’ve been there myself and you wake up with nothing but regret, drinks spilt down your favourite dress, mascara down your face, possibly the regrets of the one night stand you bagged and for the less fortunate maybe a little sick in your hair as a souvenir. There’s nothing glamorous about the student binge drinking culture; it just entails of nasty alcohol, bad sex and an even worse hangover that definitely wasn’t worth the less than average night.

A common scene after a night out. Somebody slept on this sofa….on top of their half eaten kebab. Living with students like this really is a test on your sanity.

5. They think sex means success….

Yes, unfortunately students are deluded in the sense that a lot seem to grade someone’s success on how many girls they’ve managed to bang. There are many virgin boys (I’d call them men but they definitely aren’t worthy of that title) and yet they act like they are absolute sex gods. It’s quite amusing really to see them go out to the local clubs nights on end just to try and “pull” as they call it – that is grind with a girl on the dance floor and force their tongue down her intoxicated throat in the hope of taking her back to their place before she realised that they weren’t actually attractive. Some of the boys I knew actually would rate their night out on how many girls they managed to get with and would declare it a “waste of a night” if no girl had given them attention.

6. They have no respect….

You don’t want people to use that mug your sister bought you so you keep it in your room? Sorry but thy don’t care. It will be used, maybe even smashed, and if not most definitely lost. You can say goodbye to any cherished belongings before you set off to university because I assure you, they won’t be finishing it with you. Those speakers you brought with you? They will be broken but not replaced. Students have no regards for other people’s belongings. I asked people not to use my expensive cutlery set that I bought as a treat because I was afraid some pieces might get lost. Yes, maybe I am a bit lame for buying a nice cutlery set instead of going to the nearest bargain store for the cheapest options, but lame or not, it should be an option. Sadly with students it isn’t. No matter where you hide them: your drawer, your cupboard, your bedroom, they will be used by others and they will be lost. And please don’t expect an apology because in the world of students, apologies are rather non existent.

Students also seem to be extremely arrogant when it comes to less educated people in society. Take last year’s Brexit vote for example: I was astonished to hear many students stating their views on how “people without a degree should not be allowed a vote – they’re not smart enough”.

Cleaning up isn’t a common activity for students

7. They think plates will get clean by themselves….

Say goodbye to clean cutlery. Or clean anything for that matter. I’m not sure why but students seem to think washing up after themselves is beneath them. I’m not just talking the odd plate left for a day or so, no. I’m talking stacks and stacks of pans, plates, bowls, mugs, glasses. Any kitchen utensil, you name it, it will be on the kitchen counter and it will be dirty, perhaps with some mould developing on top. One student I knew once responded “it’s a woman’s job to wash up”. Pretty disturbing attitude to have in the 21st century don’t you think? Although what I found more disturbing was one girl who asked “what’s this in the sink?” when she came across a washing up bowl for the first time in her life. Perhaps mummy may wash up after them at home, and for some reason it appears they expect waiter service at their university too.

8. They’re tight as f*ck….

The bathroom you all share? Don’t expect there to be toilet roll or soap in there unless you buy it yourself. Yes, I’ve had to resort to carrying toilet paper with me to and from the bathroom each time I go otherwise it runs out and they will expect me to buy it. That onion you used abit of? Oh they’ll want paying 5p for it. Generosity and sharing is nowhere to be found in a student household. Instead, students turn to stealing and hiding. Yes, you’re food will be eaten and you won’t be able to do anything about it.

9. They’re rich but moan about their lack of money….

Constantly moaning about how they have no money, moaning about the cost of their lectures (that they can’t be bothered showing up to anyway) and saying they can’t afford to buy the toilet roll…all common occurrences among students. Yet, the fact is most students are pretty well off – getting mummy and daddy to pay their rent and bills, getting student loans, all for nothing! They may appear poor but that’s only because they WASTE all their money on drugs, alcohol and takeaways.

10. They don’t really care about their degree….

The sad thing is, these days hardly anyone seems to be doing a degree solely for passion for the subject and because they want to learn more in a field that interests them. It seems to be more just for the sake of going to university or in order to obtain a degree that will get them money rather than happiness. What a foolish outlook on life, but that’s students for you.

11. They have no morals and care about nobody but themselves….

Free range eggs? My god don’t mention them. You will be mocked for the rest of your time at university and people will deliberately buy caged hen eggs just to upset you. On a more vile note, whilst drunk it’s not unusual to find boys to have done a dump deliberately in the bath tub or on the floor.

12. They need drugs to have a good time….

As I’m writing this I’m tucked in bed and my guinea pigs are asleep…but my flatmates are downstairs smoking weed along with whatever other concoction they’ve decided to purchase from their “dealer” this week – ketamine, ecstasy and cocaine are common. I wouldn’t know what they’re using now because they speak in whispers about it, probably to try and feel like what they’re doing is “badass” as they’d say. It’s a Tuesday night. 1 in the morning. They have lectures in the morning. I feel like taking drugs isn’t necessary tonight? Call me a bore, who knows but I can guarantee they won’t be making it to lectures in the morning. But I guess you can’t blame them: they need the drugs in order to have even an ounce of interesting in their personality.

13. They have no respect for the opposite sex…

This is the most irritating perhaps. I’ve known boys that would constantly rate girls on how “fuckable” she is whilst watching television instead of just enjoying the programme. They’d also make names for girls they knew…mocking their weight, their lack of boobs, their nose or some other part of their appearance. Some boys I lived with actually discussed how I wasn’t “good enough” for their friend, he could do “so much better”, and had “so many options of other girls”. He was one of the typical virgins. They said this in the kitchen as I could overhear in the living room. They later explained that they wanted the guy to remain single so he’d be able to join them on “lads nights”. It’s quite crippling to hear your friends discuss everything they don’t like about you, along with the constant digs at your looks and personality – it lead me to a breakdown, so congrats to you if you’re reading this but let’s just put it down to jealousy!

I think it’s fair to conclude that students are (more often than not) lazy, disrespectful people, with the maturity of a 6 year old, who usually waste the majority of their tuition fee money by staying in bed missing their lectures for absolutely no reason.

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